White Boy Rap Off!!! By S_O on 07/17/06 7:25pm EST

Michael Firman, I am calling you out. You can run, but you can't hide. Put your money where your penis is! (in your mouth)


What is it there's to say about Mike Firman?
What was it that made you gay, like, prefer-men?
The more I'm caught learnin' what keeps his world turnin'
Is the firm-and-taught squirmin' of some dude named Herman.
Since he's your-man, an ass-fan for permanent,
Tell us what's churnin' in your burnin' cock tournament?
Sure, man.
It's bedroom battle royale, epic faggot flourish,
That'll rattle "boy-pal", picked to scratch your-itch.
Mike likes love like it's skirmish, like Jews like cured-fish.
If "Michael's Cycle" is your-wish, as world turns, sure he'll furnish.
He asks: "Want sexual service?", and whirled on his dick like a dervish.

White Devils By Tauhid on 07/20/06 2:36pm EST

I hate that you guys never include me.

This needs to be called the "White Devil Rap Off" you God damn, GOD DAMNED devils.

That's cool, you can pretend to be white By S_O on 07/20/06 3:11pm EST

Anyway, Firman's dragging his feet on this thing. Like some kind of foot-dragging pussy. He said he's preparing something "epic" which I think is code for "having sex with animals". Yeah, that reminds me...


Hey Firman,

Maybe the press ain't enough that beastiality's gettin'?
So you confess that's your kick? Well at least-reality's set in.

It's like you masticate your rhymes like cow cud.
Just like you masturbate four times and, ow, thud.
You pass out, hit your noggin. That's how's ya luck.
Dream of the cows ya snoggin' and the sows ya fuck.
I'm ribbin' you, fine, but that hog's ass is, wow, good.
A blue ribbon swine with a snout that could plow mud.

Draggin' my foot because the other one's lodged up your ass By Michael on 07/21/06 5:03pm EST

Andrew, can you be any more cliche?
Drew up all these metaphors just to call me gay?
Please, I think the cheese growing between your knees
Has spread such that the herpes is now your brain disease
Now you're so sick in the head a vaccine is what you need
Instead of rhyming about dick just so you have something sexy to read
Tryin' to get me to reply in kind, but I'm not that kind of Mike
So stop eyeing my behind and hoping I'll be saying something like:

S_O is so S-O-domitical, effs assholes and copes
With homoloving his own gender, he dinks fags and gropes
Dicks, which he blows so low in his throat
Had you not known better you'd vote them esophagoscopes

But no, I won't, though I know the topic of queer's ya staple
I'll throw you no bones, nor boners, to get you irri-table
Just goes to show ya that yer STD-toasted brain must be eroded
Yer flow's mo' comatose than coma bear in that posted comic I just uploaded
Unload your supposed "wit" shit elsewhere, here you won't succeed
You might as well be rapping 'bout thugs and smokin' weed
And another clucking utter-sucker prepping to now proceed
Is this motherfucking motherfucker stepping up: Tauhid
T, I believe you want to outrhyme me? Ha ha, keep at it
You're naive to think you can tap into some sort of "black" magic
You do voodoo? I do too, foo'
And I poo-poo you two dudes who have more than a few screws loose
Talkin' bout gay sex, you can't hex, you're unhoned and hostile
Meanwhile I dish out motherfucking curses like they're going out of style

*pretends to be white* By Tauhid on 07/22/06 1:45am EST

Believe what you heard. Yes every single word of the hype
My verses are like personalized surgical strikes
I'll murder the Mike. The mike-rophone and Firman alike
So you can head back your crib Mr Firman and write
about a brand new "Worstest Pain Ever". Worser than life.
Or you can slit your wrist now I 'll even furnish the knife
Cus the words I recite are a fraction of what I can do
To some little man handling hussy like Andrew
Your little weak rhyme is the pot calling the kettle black
I'd rather fuck the kettle without calling the kettle back
But we can settle that like two men if we gotta fight
Or at least one man and one closeted sodomite
I know you like to think that you and I are a lot alike
Except I'm not white and I don't swallow and cock-a-night
So I could rock the mic and spit rhymes till there's none left
but it's already over. Ya'll just don't know it's done yet
It takes a Firm man to tame a Hussie, someone said.
But now you get to hold hands and walk into the sunset.
So go have homosexual sex you couple of gay ass homosexual men.

The hair... By S_O on 07/23/06 3:16pm EST

What made you do it?
That 'do did you wrong? 'Nuff to take blades to it?
Smacks shades of "blew it", dude whacks his dreads to a crew-cut.
Says to your barber: "I could lose a few- fuck, just nuke it."

I'm yankin' yer wang-dangle. Can't stay mad-at,
I'd done the same if I'd stop chattin' and rethink.
It stanks like tang-tangle, like it's matted.
I'd done like you and lop off that insanity-stink.
No thanks. So how's it look, mangled? (like it mattered)
I dunno, ever drop a cat in a deep sink?

But fuck, that visage, a national goddamned prize-treasure.
One mug for this-age, for maximal sodom-ized-pleasure;
Butt fuck; bum-fistage; a max-anal logjammized rump duster-feather.
Beware his meatstave's irrational clog-damage- why? Get the tape measure.
So 'scuse me if at least I'm spreadin' the good word.
The news that his piece comes in at a good yard.
That ebony fleece woulda made your wood hard.
So damn, Rest in Peace, Alfre Woodard

But enough citation from Mike Firman's diary
That fag's flirtation won't determine what ires me.
I'm rappin' 'bout hair, your head was nice to escort
The former black bramble your lice made their fort.
So go ahead, make my day. I'll dice up your retort
Before I wreck up ya marriage twice more for sport.

I'm whippin' sick vernacular, no shittin' it's spectacular.
But I got a ringer, her-smack you all, treat you like Blackula.
As in blacksploitate your ass, tackle ya back to Earth.
She whacks groins so adroit, you'd prefer cancer testicular.
You wish you could dish, but you can't so go fish.
I'm dishin' mad lexicon with this mexican dish
A spictacular wizard who can speak n' spell Spanish.
I'm pullin' this switch-yes she'll wreak hell-pain on your asshole.
A Guatemalan Bitch-Princess who hails from "El Spain Espanol"
Time to try this test-you're-on before she wrecks-your-dong
With a knife so dull, metal flecks-are-gone. So let's get-it-on.
She's all warmed up, can't get warmer. She's real loose.
So grab a mic. In this corner, BETELGEUSE!!!

Get ready to lay this shit out... By Betelgeuse on 07/23/06 6:28pm EST

My name is Betel and I'm here to say
I love to rap e-ver-y day!
You wanna be cool like me? Okay!
Don't be like Michael, 'cause he's so gay!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA-YUMMMMMMMNNNNN!!! By S_O on 07/23/06 6:38pm EST

Oh shit, you dudes just got played like a fucking game of Boggle!